Decide, Commit, Succeed

I took a big leap today. It was a plunge, a giant step. Something I’ve been thinking about, but kept wavering on. For several months, I watched Jo Ann Burns, a personal trainer in Mankato, coax and goad her clients through an intense fitness regimen.  I spoke with her a few times about her methods and rates. My conclusion was that this was something I could do on my own, with no assistance and without parting with any cash. After all, I’d done it several times before. Unfortunately, after each successful attempt to lose weight, gain strength and improve my overall health, the familiar demons of overeating, overwork, stress and apathy would gradually return. At the end of each cycle, I was heavier, more tired and older than before. Aging is beyond my control, but my present weight of 240 pounds is a result of my own bad habits. (OK, depression and medication played a part, as well, but the onus is clearly on me.)

I haven’t been able to budge my weight since it began to concern me back in January. Last month, I realized that I wasn’t able to fit into pants purchased a year ago. Either I had to lose weight, or buy a new wardrobe. Last week, I contacted Jo Ann with the intention of paying her to whip me into shape. By Friday, I hadn’t heard from her, and was beginning to think it was a bad idea, anyway. This could easily end up costing several hundred dollars; money which could be spent on other things…. like beer, or larger pants. I put it in the back of my mind and spent the weekend celebrating the beginning of May. Sunday morning, I received an email from her. She discussed scheduling and answered my questions about nutrition. I struggled with the notion of committing to a professionally managed fitness program, but by 4:00 P.M. I had made up my mind. I agreed to meet with Jo Ann at 11:00 A.M. the next day, at the uptown (hilltop) Anytime Fitness.

Last night, I had a dream that was a continuation of one from Saturday night. An Asian monk shaved my head until it bled and humiliated me in in public. I remained calm throughout the ordeal. The only difference in last night’s episode was that it seemed even more real. I woke up having to use the bathroom, and went back to bed thinking about fitness training. My gut twisted; I was terrified. Why? What is there to be afraid of? Failure, perhaps. It would be a shame to make such a huge commitment in time, money and energy, only to see it come to naught. Somehow, I went back to sleep until my wife said goodbye to me in the morning. I woke up knowing what I had to do, and spent much of the morning researching ways to track my diet and exercise. Jo Ann had asked for a record of meals from the last three days, and I was going to give her a spreadsheet.

I arrived early to use an elliptical for a half hour. Jo Ann asked how I was doing, asked me if I was ready, and proceeded to have me do some things I’d never dreamed of doing before. We spent the next 30 minutes on chest and shoulders. She was very polite, but firm and persistent. I told her I was going to do whatever she told me to do, which I did to the best of my ability. A few minutes into the session, I realized I had made the right decision. I was being challenged! She asked me to come up with a goal to reach in four weeks, such as weight loss or inches or even wearing a pair of pants I wasn’t able fit into. That was no problem — I have a closet full of those. We also covered the fine points of breathing, drinking enough water and knowing when to stop. It went quickly, moving from one tough exercise to another. I was able to do some of them very well, but Jo Ann insisted it would get easier. She also told me I was fun to train, because I was so focused. With a painful grimace on my face, I told her she was a lot of fun, too.

I survived the first session. I feel good. Tonight I’ll take Naproxen for the pain, but for now I’m elated with my decision. I’ve placed my health firmly at the top of my list, and I’m going to keep it there. With that in mind, it’ll be interesting to see how this blog progresses. Will I stick with it? You betcha!